Since my birthday next week hits in the middle of the work-day, today was declared my official "Not Birthday." Stacey and I met up with friends, Tim and Mandy, and we hit the spring fair on in town this weekend. (It may be the shortest fair visit in history, but we'll get to that shortly).
It started innocently enough. We wandered in, Mandy and I both bouncing around like puppies. I love fairs, mainly because I'm an adrenaline junkie. Fast rides are designed for people like me, and they push all my happy buttons.
The first stall we stopped was the shooting stall. Tim showed off with the rifle, and won a stuffed teddy, promptly allocated to the cat. The stall also had crossbows, and a woman running the stall who may be suicidal; she had no compunction about stepping out in front of three of us (myself, Tim and Stacey) all happily plugging away at the targets.
Since Stacey came within about a split second of shooting Suicidal Stall Lady in the butt at least once, this was not a good thing.
I needed help pulling the string back. I have no idea what the pound pull on those things were, but I eventually swopped withTim since his was easier. Being a Walking Dead fan, I kept thinking we needed a squirrel. Between that, Suicidal Stall Lady, and the variety of stuffed animals above and in between the targets, my aim was terrifying. I shot a stuffed tiger. Twice. In the same ear. I never came close to hitting the bulls eye.
Then we ended up at the tilting cups, which marked the beginning of the end.
Tim and Mandy shared a car, and Stacey and I the one just in front. It started off sweetly enough. Tim, who tops out at around 6ft7" squished Mandy into the corner on the first turn.
Our car swung genteelly around the loop on a gale of laughter, and I turned around to find a kid of about ten tugging on the back of it to spin it again.
Turned out, the kid (obviously part of the ride team) and the older guy running it, ran from car to car and spun each of them as hard as they could for the entire ride. I don't think I've ever seen that before.
The ride lasted a decent amount of time, and I was relaxing nicely. Yes, high speeds and whirly motions relax me. No idea why, but I just find it soothing. About half way into the ride, we realised that the laughter and delight from the car behind us had dried up. On a swing around, we caught a glimpse of Tim and Mandy, slightly green around the edges, car handle clutched in a four-handed death grip. As our cup tilted away again, I saw the ride guy, grinning his head off, tugging on the back of their car.
"Oh, shame," Stacey said.
Behind us, Tim made a noise that sounded remarkably like a baby goat saying fare-thee-well to its mommy, and Mandy whimpered.
"That's not good," I said back.
Tim screamed like a little girl.
At some point one of the ride guys exerted himself a little too much, and farted. We spent the next rotation trying not to breath, and laughing so hard we were crying.
Shortly afterwards, Stacey and I tumbled out of the car and off the platform, still giggling. After a few minutes, the sorriest looking pair of fun-fair zombies I've ever seen lurched off behind us.
They were green. They walked very slowly, and very carefully, and went straight past us, picked their way delicately past the guy ropes of the nearest stall and found themselves on a grassy verge.
At which point they both promptly bowed in unison at the waist, and rendered their tribute unto the God of Nausea. Repeatedly.
After several tributes, they came shambling back to us. I may have seen sorrier sights, but not by much, and it usually involved a wet cat. And yes, I have to confess that I laughed like hell. (Sorry, guys. I still love you.)
Apart from something called a Disco Tunnel (which was very strange, and resulted in me face-planting almost immediately in the first of two gigantic rotating barrels, and spending the rest of the ride on my back, practising pin-up girl poses against the side), that was the end of our fun-fair outing.
It was the shortest time I think I've ever spent in one. It was also one of the most entertaining.
I brought my two (still whimpering) friends back to my place and fed them burgers, and we're heading out to their spot for my birthday dinner.
I haven't laughed so much in a long, long time - which proves that even short events are great when you have great people around you.
It started innocently enough. We wandered in, Mandy and I both bouncing around like puppies. I love fairs, mainly because I'm an adrenaline junkie. Fast rides are designed for people like me, and they push all my happy buttons.
The first stall we stopped was the shooting stall. Tim showed off with the rifle, and won a stuffed teddy, promptly allocated to the cat. The stall also had crossbows, and a woman running the stall who may be suicidal; she had no compunction about stepping out in front of three of us (myself, Tim and Stacey) all happily plugging away at the targets.
Since Stacey came within about a split second of shooting Suicidal Stall Lady in the butt at least once, this was not a good thing.
I needed help pulling the string back. I have no idea what the pound pull on those things were, but I eventually swopped withTim since his was easier. Being a Walking Dead fan, I kept thinking we needed a squirrel. Between that, Suicidal Stall Lady, and the variety of stuffed animals above and in between the targets, my aim was terrifying. I shot a stuffed tiger. Twice. In the same ear. I never came close to hitting the bulls eye.
Then we ended up at the tilting cups, which marked the beginning of the end.
Tim and Mandy shared a car, and Stacey and I the one just in front. It started off sweetly enough. Tim, who tops out at around 6ft7" squished Mandy into the corner on the first turn.
Our car swung genteelly around the loop on a gale of laughter, and I turned around to find a kid of about ten tugging on the back of it to spin it again.
Turned out, the kid (obviously part of the ride team) and the older guy running it, ran from car to car and spun each of them as hard as they could for the entire ride. I don't think I've ever seen that before.
The ride lasted a decent amount of time, and I was relaxing nicely. Yes, high speeds and whirly motions relax me. No idea why, but I just find it soothing. About half way into the ride, we realised that the laughter and delight from the car behind us had dried up. On a swing around, we caught a glimpse of Tim and Mandy, slightly green around the edges, car handle clutched in a four-handed death grip. As our cup tilted away again, I saw the ride guy, grinning his head off, tugging on the back of their car.
"Oh, shame," Stacey said.
Behind us, Tim made a noise that sounded remarkably like a baby goat saying fare-thee-well to its mommy, and Mandy whimpered.
"That's not good," I said back.
Tim screamed like a little girl.
At some point one of the ride guys exerted himself a little too much, and farted. We spent the next rotation trying not to breath, and laughing so hard we were crying.
Shortly afterwards, Stacey and I tumbled out of the car and off the platform, still giggling. After a few minutes, the sorriest looking pair of fun-fair zombies I've ever seen lurched off behind us.
They were green. They walked very slowly, and very carefully, and went straight past us, picked their way delicately past the guy ropes of the nearest stall and found themselves on a grassy verge.
At which point they both promptly bowed in unison at the waist, and rendered their tribute unto the God of Nausea. Repeatedly.
After several tributes, they came shambling back to us. I may have seen sorrier sights, but not by much, and it usually involved a wet cat. And yes, I have to confess that I laughed like hell. (Sorry, guys. I still love you.)
Apart from something called a Disco Tunnel (which was very strange, and resulted in me face-planting almost immediately in the first of two gigantic rotating barrels, and spending the rest of the ride on my back, practising pin-up girl poses against the side), that was the end of our fun-fair outing.
It was the shortest time I think I've ever spent in one. It was also one of the most entertaining.
I brought my two (still whimpering) friends back to my place and fed them burgers, and we're heading out to their spot for my birthday dinner.
I haven't laughed so much in a long, long time - which proves that even short events are great when you have great people around you.
pahahaha! brilliant. my head and neck are FUCKED this morning! we were still queasy when we got home last night. what a pair of lightweights.
ReplyDeleteI still keep remembering it and giggling to myself. Best night out in a while, IMO.
ReplyDelete